there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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