ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
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I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
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