just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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