May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
