She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
