apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Randomize
