If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
send nudes
from the living room?
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
