At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Randomize
