i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Randomize
