$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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