Nicole vs. Life
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Randomize
