I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
