life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
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