He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Randomize
