i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
