I bet he comes in French.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
