Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Randomize
