she looked like the bat from fern gully.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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