I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
