We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize
