Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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