I want to walk on stilts...naked
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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