A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
i think im in europe. pls send help
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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