Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
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