It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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