I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Dignity is for republicans.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I had to cum in my sink.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
