but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
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My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
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