i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
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