he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
