I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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