mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
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