well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
