:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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