So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Sorry my hands just texted you
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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