we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
