It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Operation Purity has been aborted
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
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I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
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Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
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