I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
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