the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize