you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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