my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
