so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize
