R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
