Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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