How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
