There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
