Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
