i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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