chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
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