I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
