shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
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