belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
