I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Randomize
