Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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