I wannas sexs uuuuu
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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