i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
