idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
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