He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
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