I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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