I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
