dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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