Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
