I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
