idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Randomize
