i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize
