At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
