drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
