im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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